Thursday, September 23, 2010

Can I eat that?

My beloved husband, The Ninja, has just been perusing our fridge in search of snacks. Whilst pulling out jar after jar of dubious provisions, he suggested I write about things you find in the fridge that you’re not sure you should eat or not...and not just the bi-carb soda either...



While three quarters of our fridge is a safe food zone. A haven where you are guaranteed to be able to grab what ever, eat it straight away (or zap it in the microwave) and not die of amoebic dysentery...the top shelf of our fridge is the condiment shelf. Otherwise known as the shelf where jars go to die. The Chutney Cemetery.
This shelf I’m not too sure of. I mostly like to keep a wide berth from it. Occasionally I will drift in there in search of a jar of crushed garlic, ginger or chilli or a stray tub of yoghurt that has wandered too far from its flock. But mostly I leave it alone. Pretend it’s not there, like a weird uncle at a funeral who’s had too many shandies. I’m very wary of it!
What is on this shelf? Well, while wandering through Farmer’s markets we tend to pick up delicious home made sauces, marmalades and assorted preserves. We also have family members who give us gifts of jams and conserves that all get lovingly placed on this shelf. Then I must lose my memory of putting it in there in a tragic fridge door closing accident.
I do try and keep it clean though! I’m positive I throw most stuff out, but the jars in there must either going at it like little beaker bunnies or are reproducing by jarthenogenesis.
Because I’m sure I didn’t buy that many portions of pickles or receptacles of relish that are in there.
At least it’s not like my Dad’s place where there was a jar of capers sitting in the fridge that was 5 years past its use by date. I wept the day he threw them out, they were like part of the family, it was more like they were leaving home than going in the bin. My little capers going off to college...
So, The Ninja finally found his kasoundi, smeared it on his bickies, and walked off, leaving the top shelf as it was. He didn’t go through anything, he didn’t throw anything out, he just wanted me to write about it. Thanks hon...


How’s your condiments shelf?


7 comments:

Dorothy said...

Mine is a lot bigger than yours! So, there!

I do actually use a lot of it though. I also have a condiment shelf in the pantry where new jars go before being opened and transiting to the top fridge shelf... I too have several jars of chutney, curry paste, olives and stuff, most of it still edible.... Well, at leat I'm pretty sure it is....

Voluptacon said...

Haha! That's not actually mine. I'm too scare to photograph mine!

Voluptacon said...

....oh, and has anyone spied Satanmouse?
I may include him in blogs from now on.
Kind of like a "Where's Satanmouse?"

Wanderlust said...

I think you should photoshop a little red stripey shirt onto him, perhaps with a caper in one paw...

Voluptacon said...

Oooh, thanks, I'm inspired now to create more photoshopping awesomeness!

The Clip Cafe said...

lol!!! you had me smirking all the way through that post! I only just cleaned my grandma's fridge out and WOW was there alot of that sort of stuff and yes lots were WAY WAY past the used by date (ewww.)W
We have ours on the door shelves and they generally don't get left there long enough to go off - we have a few vultures living here.... :-)

Voluptacon said...

Hahaha! I need to wait until my boys are old enough to be vultures. I'm sure they will be soon enough, and then I suppose my jars 'o' stuff wont be able to procreate fast enough.
Mmmmm,I bet your Grandpa's fridge would have been a treasure trove!!!