Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I'm a clairvoyant. I know I'm going to die of a heart attack.

Yes, I am the posessor of mystic powers beyond many's comprehension. My kind are often called seers, oracles, psychics, soothsayers and mediums.
But I personally like to call myself a mother-of-children-who-like-to-climb-high-stuff.
I know that I will most likely die of heart failure after going outside one day to find my children perched atop the TV antenna trying to tune in Tokyo.
On any given day I will let them outside and they will head straight for the nearest tree, swing-set or shed, and proceed to climb it until they can climb no more.
One big problem with this is the getting down factor...they don't actually factor-in getting down.
Unlike kittens stuck in trees, I haven't yet had to resort to calling the fire department, but I'm sure that day is coming.
My 4 year old is quite capable at getting down from any of the above climbed things, but my 2 year old tends to use the "Muuuuuuuuum!! I'm stuck!!" method of descending from whatever he has scaled.
I'm OK to get him down from here:

And I can also get him down if he climbs our chook shed.
But what am I supposed to do If I come across this?

Or this?

Or even this?


Unless I can wrap them in bubble wrap, or buy 486 matresses and scatter them around the place under anything tall, or feed them up with the l’√Člixir du bouncy balls, my demise has been written. It was nice knowing you all. I'd better go brew some chamomile tea, shoot myself in the butt with half a pack of rhino tranquilisers and then go check on where the boys are...


Joni Llanora said...

Hilarious post. I love it. At these instances, I'm sorta glad my daughter is restricted from climbing anything taller than me.

Dorothy said...

Sam is my climber, he will climb anything climbable and a lot things that are not. Thankfully he is also quite confident in climbing down. It's his older brother that has had to be rescued occasionally when he forgot he was afraid of heights.. Hehehe!

Awesome photoshopping..!

Voluptacon said...

Hehee, Dorothy. Dodgy photoshopping lady is back!
Sam sounds like Jasper, he's fine with the whole climbing/get down this. It must just be the other 2!

@Joni: Thanks. I don't know if it's just a boy thing or not, but I'm glad you've got your girl under control :P

Neddy said...

Wait until you find your climber on the kitchen bench toasting the sink plug in your brand new stainless steel toaster ... you need a defibrillator in those circumstances, let me tell you!!

Voluptacon said...

Hmmm, toasted sink plug sounds tasty! I simply MUST have the recipe!
Oh dear!

Jacki said...

I love this post!!! My son is a climber and it scares the life out of me! Gahhhh!

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