Monday, July 18, 2011

Come dry with me... Let's dry away...

Ohhh! Look at me!

I'm ever so environmentally conscious, with my laundry-in-the-lounge!

On rainy days I have rows of clothes spread over my indoor lines like deflated kookaburras sittin' on the 'lectric wires (That's not even a good simile Lyndell! Gosh!)

My drying room is redolent of the fabric softener of the day, "Mountain Breeze", "Ocean Mist", "Woodland Glade" or "Sulphuric Lava Flow", and I get to be ever-so-gently brushed by my garments as I walk through them.

I like that we are saving energy as well, since we don't have a dryer our clothes are left to dry as we heat the rest of the house...

Who am I kidding? I'd KILL for dryer!

It's the dead of Winter. It's cold, it's wet, it's miserable and I just want dry, fluffy clothes! I want to burn a hole in the ozone layer above my house in the shape of that porthole that opens into the magical appliance that removes the dankness from my dresses, the sogginess from my socks and unsaturates my underwear.

Don't get me wrong! It's great to have ethics, and go about living your life without harming the environment. But when It's the middle of the night, and you have two kids vomiting all over their beds, and you're using the last of your moth eaten tablecloths as bedding, ethics don't dry your clothes!

I think tax time I'll be buying a dryer.

Could you live without your dryer during the Winter months? Or are you quite happy with a drying room inside?

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Renovations, Elvis and The Hustle

As I glanced up at the clock on the mantle I was surprised that it was gone...Even more I was surprised that it had been replaced with Elvis.

"You should really get rid of those brown woollen curtains and replace them with a nice damask curtain with voile backing and a waved valance..." he mumbled in the general direction of my windows.

"Fuck off Elvis!" I yelled, "No one wants your fucking curtain advice!!"

As the ghost of the long dead rock star disappeared with a poof and a gelationous smear, I was left pondering... Those curtains really are hideous! And... I'd kill for a deep fried cheeseburger right now, extra pickles.

I have been living in my house for 5 years now and our renovations are coming along very slowly.

My partner and I are kind of like one of those revovation shows gone wrong. We've ripped up the carpet in the whole house, and only the lounge room floor has been done...
So the lounge looks nice, except for the half finished mantle piece.

(Whenever I walk into our lounge I see this sign and get this song in my head:

Do the Hustle (or in my case, Do the Mantle)

But back to my offending office curtains, (which the Olsen twins have been fighting over for that bag-lady chic look, ever since the town homeless guy turned them down as bedding) they really are awful, brown, itchy, wool curtains, which I will get around to replacing one day...

So until I have my house fully renovated, I think I'll be left with my imaginary smarmy dead rockstar friend giving me bad renovation advice.

Are you a renovator or a D.I Y queen? I'm not...