Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Renovations, Elvis and The Hustle

As I glanced up at the clock on the mantle I was surprised that it was gone...Even more I was surprised that it had been replaced with Elvis.

"You should really get rid of those brown woollen curtains and replace them with a nice damask curtain with voile backing and a waved valance..." he mumbled in the general direction of my windows.

"Fuck off Elvis!" I yelled, "No one wants your fucking curtain advice!!"

As the ghost of the long dead rock star disappeared with a poof and a gelationous smear, I was left pondering... Those curtains really are hideous! And... I'd kill for a deep fried cheeseburger right now, extra pickles.

I have been living in my house for 5 years now and our renovations are coming along very slowly.

My partner and I are kind of like one of those revovation shows gone wrong. We've ripped up the carpet in the whole house, and only the lounge room floor has been done...
So the lounge looks nice, except for the half finished mantle piece.

(Whenever I walk into our lounge I see this sign and get this song in my head:

Do the Hustle (or in my case, Do the Mantle)

But back to my offending office curtains, (which the Olsen twins have been fighting over for that bag-lady chic look, ever since the town homeless guy turned them down as bedding) they really are awful, brown, itchy, wool curtains, which I will get around to replacing one day...

So until I have my house fully renovated, I think I'll be left with my imaginary smarmy dead rockstar friend giving me bad renovation advice.

Are you a renovator or a D.I Y queen? I'm not...


Neddy said...

I'm so not a renovator or a DIY'er!! We turned our garage into a family room four years ago ... I still haven't painted the doors to my "study in a cupboard"! We also erected an outdoor entertaining area when we did the renovations - it too is still waiting for the painting to be finished!

Voluptacon said...

Ha! Yay for half finished renos!!!

AlyceB said...

Oh I feel the curtain pain. We live in hubby's gparents house, which isn't toooo bad. Just green. Pale mint green walls I can live with. Kinda classy in the right setting. Just not with a dark green trim. Yep, door jams, skirting boards. Dark gag green. And lacy curtains with green curtains.


Toushka Lee said...

wow. those curtains are really special. I grew up in a state of constant renovations. my parents were always ripping a wall out or putting in an arch or a bay window. And all three schools I went to were in a state of reno too. I swore I would never be a renovator.
But I love me those reno shows!
And I just know that when we own a home I will be itching to rip a wall out. or something.

As for Elvis, good plan not listening to his advice. Graceland is hideous.

Voluptacon said...

@AlyceB...Mmm, mint green..Hawt!

@Toushka: Exactly why I told him to fuck off. :P
I thought I'd love renovating my own home too. Hmmmmm....