Monday, November 21, 2011

Dear Santa (A mums wish list)

Dear Santa,

I believe I have been a very good girl this year.

I have tried to be a good, kind and patient mum (with the kids, I never promised anything about being patient with grown -ups).

I have not embarrassed myself in public very much this year (I think you should turn a blind eye at wine-o-clock at BBQ's and get togethers).

And I generally have been polite to my fellow human beings (with just some scowling and pouting, as opposed to tourettes laden tirades, when waiting in the supermarket queue behind someone who parks their trolley in the checkout and then leaves it to go do all of their shopping!)

So Santa, since I have been good, I have my own little wish list I have compiled for you.

Can you please, please, please NOT bring my children any of the following:

A) Toys that need 852 batteries to run them, then run out once they've been operating for 36 seconds (unless you bring me shares in Duracell as well).

B) Lollies. A few are okay, and I know they make good stocking fillers, but you don't actually need to fill the whole stocking with them. I think last year Jasper was creating his own mini vortex in the backyard, when he rode his bike around, and around, and around in increasingly faster, lolly-and-sugar-induced circles, and nearly got sucked into another dimension. So, maybe just a handful this year.

C) Cheap $2 Shop toys that break when you touch them lightly with your pinky finger, or breathe heavily on them.

D) Toys with sounds that exceed 85 decibels. I don't think toy companies realise that any noises over 85 decibels actually cause noise-induced hearing loss, so toys get louder and louder as the years progress and my kids (and my) hearing deteriorates. Besides, they compete with the stereo, so I end up with some kind of extended remix version of Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven ... in two police cars and a firetruck".

Yours Sincerely,


P.S. What was that Santa? I can only assume you have said "Yes" to all of the above and are complying with my list, as I can't hear you, I have noise induced hearing loss from last year's presents!

Do you have a parents wish list for Santa this year?


FoodMuster said...

funny, my list is much the same as yours. Santa doesn't seem to get it does he?? Maybe it will be sorted this year:)
Visiting via FYBF!

Janelle said...

Yes I do, but my "NOT-wanted list" is directed at the grandies, not Santa. My mum wanted to buy a huge backyard swing set for our 18 month old. 1) she's too young for that yet, 2) we have three playgrounds within 5 minute walk of our house, and 3) I don't really want a huge permanent structure taking up all our yard, collecting cobwebs and being peed on by the dogs.
So I told my mum this, but she went out and bought the damn thing anyway!
After a discussion about it, the end result is that it will live at her house for when the 18 month old comes over (rarely). I'm happy enough!
Visiting from FYBF

Voluptacon said...

Thanks for coming over from FYBF.
Santa (and grandparents) have a lot to answer for!

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